::My Inner Monologue::

Trend Watch: Heavy Liner

2009-06-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

Thick black eyeliner was the look at the CFDA Awards; which is awesome because I'm a huge fan. It is an easy look good for a summer day, running around, or evening out where you're out eating or drinking because the look requires a nude lip (and even if the liner smudges it just goes from heavy to smoky).

Libation Alert: The St. Thomas

2009-06-26T16:40:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

1 ounce vodka

1/2 ounce peach schnapps

1/2 ounce Malibu coconut rum

3 ounces cranberry juice

A dash of lemon juice

Method:

Combine vodka, peach schnapps and coconut rum in a cocktail glass. Fill almost to the brim with cranberry juice, add a splash of lemon juice and serve.

Nutrition:

Calories: 180

Exercise equivalents in minutes:
Walk: 47
Bike: 26
Run: 19
Swim: 22
Yoga: 62
Dance: 31

How skinny is too skinny - the debate continues

2009-06-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

Since the death of model Ana Carolina Reston (at age 21) at São Paulo's fashion week in November of 2006, from complications arising from anorexia, the fashion industry has been very touchy about the great weight debate. How skinny is too skinny? How young is too young to model? Who decides what is healthy? (São Paulo has now banned models under 16 and demanded a health certificate for girls taking part in runway shows). I am personally torn, because I like the very thin model look - the haute couture, concave, angular, body as architecture look but there is a point when skinny becomes scary. Can that be quantified? Is it possible to create a standard that accounts for different body types, age, and metabolism??

For my skinny example I'll use French model Audrey Marnay (I'm a huge fan and I think she's beautiful in such and interesting and unusual way)

She is much smaller than the Victoria Secret/Swimsuit/Men's Magazine Models, but in my opinion still healthy looking. Just for the occasional male reader (love Heidi too - a perfect example of sexy without being cheap):

Now here, for me is where skinny goes into scary. Below is Allegra Versace who was checked into a hospital to combat anorexia by her family.

"Thin" is a difficult issue for me because it is so subjective and I feel to some extent that every person feels under scrutiny or just has days when they feel like a Good Year Blimp. Having see seen several good friends suffer through anorexia there becomes a cross over point where they go from skinny to skeletal. I don't think that we need to encourage this trend because British health experts have said that anorexia has the highest fatality rate of any psychiatric illness with 13 - 18 % of sufferers dying (most commonly from heart disease or suicide). Similarly, most people do not have the same shape at 24, 34, 44 (etc.) that they have when they are 13 - 15 which is the common age of runway models when they are signed. Having to deal with a changing body shape in the spotlight and having to compete with younger girls that haven't necessarily gone through puberty at that point seems unfair.

On the flip side, if your job is based on the condition of your body, is it not your responsibility to be at the top off your game. Do we judge models on the same rigorous principles as we would judge an athlete? Personally, I was shocked when I saw Karolina Kurkova at São Paulo a few months ago...I'm going to get hated on for this one, but it's my blog so I can say what I want. She looked fine for a normal woman, but as one of the world's top-payed models right now, her body was not where it needed to be.

Recently, the editor of British Vogue "weighed" in (pun totally intended) on the issue by sending out a letter to established fashion houses to make them stop sending out size zero clothes. This interested me and here is what I found online at www.telegraph.co.uk: by Roya Nikkhah Published: 10:00AM BST 14 Jun 2009 Miss Shulman accused designers of an "increasingly disturbing" practice of sending fashion magazines "minuscule" clothes for fashion shoots, which forced editors to hire models with "jutting bones and no breasts or hips". Eleni Renton, a leading model agent who has pioneered the use of healthy-looking girls, said: "It is about time that somebody stood up to the designers, and it is hugely brave of Alexandra to come out and say there is a problem. "I have had girls turn up to shoots and not be able to fit into the samples and these are model-size, slim women. "It has become ridiculous and for too long, designers have been getting away with making clothes that are simply not designed for normal women." Hilary Alexander, the Telegraph’s fashion director, said: “I totally support Alex and addressing this issue is long overdue. “Her call now needs to be backed by all the other glossy magazine editors, who must join the chorus if they want to see a change within the fashion industry. One lone voice will not be enough.” Emma Healey of Beat, the charity that supports people affected by eating disorders, said: "This is very welcome. The whole controversy over size zero models has been a wake up call. "It is very encouraging to see Vogue taking a stance like this." Miss Shulman said that clothes created by designers for the catwalk which were then sent to magazines for photoshoots had become "substantially smaller" and that Vogue was now having to "retouch" photographs "to make the models appear larger". In a letter to fashion houses including Prada, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent and Chanel, Miss Shulman wrote: "We have now reached a point where many of the sample sizes don't comfortably fit even the established star models. "Instead, we are having to use girls with jutting bones and no breasts or hips, to fit them." She added: "I am finding that the feedback from my readers and the general feeling in the UK is that people don't really want to see such thin girls."

I think that the fashion houses should be responsible for supplying a range of sample sizes to magazines. If the clothes are too big they can be tailored or pinned but even waif-ish models like Kate Moss (who, by the way I do not think is too thin) are not the same size as the younger runway models and there is very little use killing oneself to reverse hormones and puberty. I guess this was a long one without any real resolution but I think its an interesting jumping off point for discussion.

Fashion Tweets

2009-06-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Roberto Cavalli Campaign

2009-06-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to see the uniquely beautiful Karen Elson utilized in Roberto Cavalli's nightlife ad campaign. Shot by Steven Meisel, other party goers include Isabeli Fontana and Clement Chabernaud...and all I can say is it looks like a hell of a night on the town! Hand me a drink!

Glamping

2009-06-23T18:08:00.000-07:00

While I must say that I'm more of a luxury resort in an exotic location kind of girl, my darling friend Victoria is expected to participate in an outdoorsy camping trip and wanted some tips on "glamping" - aka luxurious, glamorous camping. I cannot leave one of my dearest friends in a flooded campsite with a leaky tent shivering in a smelly, borrowed sleeping bag...so here goes!

If given the appropriate amount of time, resources, and ability to govern the trip then research, research, research. Many campsites now have tents complete with carpeting, down duvets, and electricity as well as on-site hot tubs and saunas and a variety of activities ranging from horseback riding to kayaking. If you really plan ahead you could end up at a site with a walk-in tent with beds, heated blankets, and a mess tent serving haute cuisine. Of course, if your significant other is a "rough it" type of individual...you should consider a new significant other bwahahahaha, just kidding. I guess you're out off luck and now you're on to plan b! (although I strongly recommend that you carry the number of the nearest hotel just in case it does rain). Here are my "glamping" necessities:

1. Jimmy Choo's Hunter Wellington Rainboot. Made cool when Kate Moss wore wellies to the Glastonbury Music Festival, the cool new Choo boot is of course rubber, but the material has been embossed with a chic crocodile pattern and has leopard print lining and gold buckle details.

2. The Swiss Glamour Camping Kit, made by Urban Decay together with Paul Frank contains 125 dollars worth of cosmetic goodies, like eyeliners, pencils, brushes, eye shadows, lip gloss, over-sized sunglasses, a matching case, and obviously, a mirror.
3. Mahalo water made from 100% Hawaiian Deep Sea Water claims to offer the purest water on earth and contains a very high amount of minerals. I don't care if I can have mountain fresh water...I want imported Hawaiian water biatches!!

4. You can still have some comfort like back home while on a camping trip with the N!ergy tent. The tent includes an E! Power Pak which powers 12-volt gadgets right inside the tent. The system combines three 12-volt outlets inside the tent which you can connect to a power system. The 12-volt outlets also double as night lights since they shine blue when powered ON.

4. Recently showcased among the many beers at the Beertopia World Beer Festival in New York was this unique new product – Champagne Lager (Or Champagne Beer as it is known in the US). Boasting a new category unto itself this export brand of a London based Cobra Beers will put the glam into beer drinking. Carrying a powerful 8% ABV and double fermented in Belgium’s world famous Rodenbach brewery, bringing out all the subtleties and character of its fine ingredients, this Champagne Beer comes in a sleek dark champagne-style bottle with the tagline “This holiday season have your beer and your champagne too!” Available in 750ml bottles, with retail price around $12 it’s perfect for adding the glitz and glam to even outdoor events.

5. Down comforter, down pillow, fleecy blankets

6. Even sub-zero temperatures won't interfere with your sleep when you're zipped up in this luxurious heated sleeping bag from Heatek. The bag operates on a 12-volt, 9-Ah battery (included) and comes with an AC/DC rechargeable adapter unit that can be plugged into your car's cigarette lighter. Once it's turned on, the bag takes only about five minutes to heat up, and its automatic temperature control works for up to eight hours, creating the ideal climate for a full night's sleep. The durable waterproof shell keeps the bag dry for ultimate efficiency and also breathes well to keep you from feeling clammy at night.

7. Dried fruit (I like the variety of options at Trader Joe's), nuts (a la tamarind almonds), wasabi peas, and prepped grilling food (ie Whole Foods)

8. Your own grill. Yes, there is something to be said for campground bonfires...and that something is s'mores. For everything else...bring your own grill so you're not stuck eating things that have unglamourously fallen in the ashes.

9. Beach towels, camp chairs, and a hammock (for your significant other to lovingly assemble from tree to tree)...you don't want to end up sitting on the ground especially with icky sticky bug spray or sunscreen. I may defy logic on this one but when camping I do NOT do the shower thing...communal bathing (unless it is in a bath house) is simply not an option and if I'm leaving on a Friday, I will be home Sunday so I keep as dirt free as possible to help with this endeavor! Also, Sephora's Naturia Dry Shampoo allows you to wash your hair sans water leaving hair healthy and clean in minutes!!! Moisturizer and eye shades...because mountain air is often dry and you don't want to be awakened at 6 am on a Saturday morning. Also, if you see horrifying wildlife, put on eye shades and it totally disappears ;). I've been trying to think of a way around the public pottying, but my best solution is planning day trips into areas accessible to hotel bathrooms or restaurants!

10. Deep tissue massage upon return to civilization to get any potential knots and post-traumatic stress banished!!

Recipe: Garlic Mashed Cauliflower

2009-06-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

"Garlicky Mashed Cauliflower that I want you to believe are Mashed Potatoes"

Ingredients

·1 head of cauliflower
·1 small onion (red or yellow)
·1-2 TBSP organic butter
·1-2 cloves of garlic (this will depend on your taste)

Directions

Steam or boil the cauliflower. Chop the onion and sauté it with either olive oil, butter or coconut oil. Add the cooked cauliflower to the sautéed onions and sauté together for approximately 8 minutes. Take the cauliflower and onion sauté and puree in a food processor or blender. Add a tablespoon or more of butter and blend. Take 2 cloves of garlic and chop them up into small pieces. Add more olive oil, butter or coconut oil to pan and cook the garlic until brown (but try not to burn it). Pour the garlic into your mashed cauliflower and mix by hand.

You all know that I looooove garlic (thank god Rob does too - bwahahaha) but on top of its amazing yumminess, garlic has incredible antibiotic and blood cleansing properties (which is why it is so great for a cold or other infections). It has been shown to have 1% of the potency of penicillin and can ward off a number of bacteria such as Listeria, Salmonella, E. coli, Cryptococcal meningitis, Candida albican and Staphylococcus. The problem with most antibiotics is that bacteria develops resistance to them, however this is not the case with garlic. Additionally, garlic helps with acne, cardiovascular health, and lowering "bad" cholesteral through its blood cleansing properties. It also contains Allicin, which increases antioxidant enzymes so that's always a plus. This has not been scientifcally proven, but I'm pretty sure it wards off icky co-workers and unwanted lunch-mates as well ;)

Tim Burton's "Alice"

2009-06-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

March 2010 will see the opening of Tim Burton's "Alice and Wonderland" starring (of course) Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter as well as Ann Hathaway and Aussie actress Mia Wasikowska. Filmed in Cornwall in the UK, the film will feature Burton's off-kilter aesthetic and should be a fun new fantasy world to explore!

Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter

Helena Bonham Carter as The Queen of Hearts

Ann Hathaway as The White Queen

Bella

2009-06-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

So, I've read three of the Twilight books in the last week and having seen the movie I was utterly disappointed with some of the casting choices. First, and foremost was Bella because Bella needs to be ethereal looking (Kristen Stewart is not) which is generally more of a "blonde" trait (see Tanya Dziahileva below) but she also needs to be an attainable to provide the proper juxposition between her human characteristics and edward's otherwordly perfection.

In my head I've been trying to figure out what ethereal brunette actress should have played Bella. Winona back in the day would have been great but she definitely can't pass for 17 anymore and therefor wouldn't have the youth or "innocence" to play Bella.

Others options I thought off ranged from Natalie Portman, Kiera Knightly, and Kate Beckinsdale (all too mature to play 17 as well)...but of the younger crop of girls (choosing only from actresses and not models) the best in my opinion would probably be:

Amanda Seyfried with brown hair

Isabel Lucas

Leighton Meester

So those are my thoughts for Bella at the moment :)

Rachel Zoe's 34 Style Must Have's

2009-06-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Celeb Stylist and Bravo TV Star Rachel Zoe has released her 34 essential style pieces and they are as follows:

1. The blazer and shirt with jeans combo. She likes the tuxedo jacket either tailored or the boyfriend style.

2. Metallic jacket

3. Leather leggings

4. Kate Moss's dress for Topshop (topshop.com)

5. Gold sequin shirt and coat

6. Black sequin tunic (either worn as a dress with tights and a pair of pumps or as a top with skinny jeans)

7. Kate Moss's wrap dress for Topshop (topshop.com)

8. Matthew Williamson's silk tunic for H&M

9. Gold peep-toe Louboutin shoes

10. Resurrection vintage Chanel purse

11. Berry hard nail polish (essie), Bubble Bath nail polish (OPI), Givenchy mascara, Phenomen'eyes (Sephora), Leica C-Lux 3 Camera

12. H&M Straw Tote and White Tunic

13. Missoni Home towels and bikinis (net-a-porter.com)

14. Dior Brown Sandals

15. Byron William's Hair products (bybyron.com)

16. Louis Vuitton necklace

17. Genevieve Jones bracelets

18. Alexis Bittar lucite jewelry (alexisbittar.com)

19. Kathy Rose bracelets and rings (roseark.com)

20. Chanel's Deco Cuff

21. Resurrection Vintage Chanel gold necklace and bracelets

22. Tom Ford's "Claudio" and "Scarlett" sunglasses (online at Neiman Marcus)

23. Teal jeans (a la Matthew Williamson's for H&M)

24. Dark jeans (Rachel likes 7 for all Mankind's "Ginger" wide leg jean - 7forallmankind.com)

25. Clutches (like Louis Vuitton's) as a perfect day to night option

26. Kate Moss's Topshop sequin cardigan and jeans (topshop.com)

27. Stella McCartney's "IDONY" sneakers for Adidas (shopadidas.com)

28. American Apparel's t-shirts and tanks

29. Brian Atwood's Metallic Burgundy shoes

30. Gold and Black Louis Vuitton shoes

31. Domaine Ott Rose (as the perfect drink for a holiday that says sunshine and beaches)

32. YSL/Resurrection vintage fedora

33. Vicini sandals

34. Guiseppe Zanotti silver shoes

From this list, I can take away the following. Focus on creating classic looks with special pieces. If you're going to focus on shoes or jewelry, then really highlight that aspect and keep the rest things that can transition from season to season. Keep an eye out for vintage designer labels (I found a fabu Vuitton clutch at a church thrift store for ten bucks) or look to ebay for items - if you know your size in a particular designer or if you go for accessories you should get a good bang for your buck. Big vintage sunglasses, bold jewelry, and sassy accents will spice up any outfit. If you are going to splurge, go for a quality item that is classic but unique so that it will be something that you are pleased with for years to come.

Recipe: Almond Sugar Cookies

2009-06-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

This one is for Jess! Makes 12 cookies. Preheat oven to 350 and bake for 8-ish mins.

Ingredients:
1 1/4 cup almond meal
1 cup sugar substitute
1/4 cup butter
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
pinch cinnamon
splash honey

Grease cookie pan then make little cookie balls. You can top them with cacao powder, shaved almonds, almond butter, honey, blahblah and they're hella good!

Grilled Salmon with Basil Cream Reduction

2009-06-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

This recipe is courtesy of my good friend, Phil. He suggests serving with asparagus or green beans and I think a nice crisp Riesling would be in order (personally)

For Salmon
4 Salmon steaks
2 TBS Olive Oil
2 TBS Lemon Juice
Sea Salt and fresh ground Black Pepper

For Sauce
20 fresh Basil leaves
1/3 Cup dry white wine
2 cloves Garlic
1 Cup heavy cream
1 TBS fresh Lemon juice
2 TBS unsalted Butter
Sea Salt and fresh ground Black Pepper to taste

1)Preheat grill to high.

2)Rinse salmon under cold water, drain and blot dry. Brush salmon on both sides with the oil. season with lemon juice, salt and pepper.

3)Combine Basil, wine and garlic in a blender and process until a smooth puree forms. transfer to a small heavy saucepan and stir in cream. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, be careful because the cream can boil over very rapidly. Reduce by half, about 15 minutes, stirring frequently. Whisk in butter and lemon juice, when the butter is incorporated into the cream mixture remove from heat and season with salt and pepper. cover and keep warm.

4)Grill your salmon to desired temperature, when salmon just starts to fully flake is about right. Remove from heat.

5) Spoon sauce over salmon and serve.

Almond/Coconut Flour Blueberry Muffins

2009-06-16T16:59:00.000-07:00

Preheat oven to 350, cook for 25 - 30 mins depending on desired moistness. Makes 11-ish muffins.

Ingredients:
1/4 cup butter
2 eggs
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup sugar substitute
1/2 cup almond meal
1/2 cup coconut flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup milk
1 - 2 cups blueberries depending on desired berriness (I used about 1 1/2 cups)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg

Method:
Beat butter, eggs, salt, and sugar and once that ish is whipped add the rest of the ingredients sans blueberries and beat that too. Add blueberries and spoon-mix. Put in greased muffin tin and bake for a little over 25 mins. I checked at 25 and put them back in for another five. The fork needs to go in and come out cleanly!

Sunlight

2009-06-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't seen nearly enough of it lately or maybe it's because I got a Livestrong newsletter today (that I repeatedly mark as spam....you all KNOW that I think Lance Armstrong is hella annoying and brings out my violent tendencies) discussing the dangers of sun exposure, but this deserves its own post. I'm not going to get all scientific mostly because I'm lazy and don't want to direct quote and footnote this ish...and since this is my blog and not a term paper - I DON'T have to!!!

In my totally unscientific opinion, a greater danger is that we do not get nearly enough sun! Most of us (myself excluded for the moment, but please see the aforementioned weather comment) spend 40 + hours a week inside working, another approximately 60 hours a week sleeping which between eating, indoor activities, weather complications, and limited daylight hours very little time to be outdoors enjoying the sun's rays.

I find that the more time I spend outside the happier and in my opinion, healthier I am. There is something very important about real light (as opposed to flourecents...and not just that it makes you look better) to the point where if I am sick or upset I really think it cures me. It is a stress reliever, an energizer, and an aphrodisiac all rolled into one. I mean, is it so nuts to think that if the sun and water can provide a plant with everything it needs to be healthy that it wouldn't do something amazing for us as well (although I do have yet to complete photosynthesis - I'll post back if I do).

So as summer approaches, let us not fear the sun...let us expose ourselves to it gradually and often so that it doesn't burn us. There is a reason that people exposed to the sun regularly in dessert or tropical climates are darker and I'd hazard a guess they have a lower skin cancer level than us Americans do with our sunscreen, protective clothing, and huge hats exposing ourselves for long periods of time rather irregularly. Maybe it is more because we avoid the sun like little gremlins for 90 % of the year to go on vacations and then we're suprised that we're burned and have created sun damage. So I guess my message is respect the sun but do not fear the sun!

Libation Alert: Mexican Mojito

2009-06-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

I chose the Mexican Mojito because it is, of course, raining and I need to share a little warm weather inspiration...so, let us all pretend that we're poolside in Cabo with one of these babies!!! (oh yeah, and the bartender is superhot and thinks our jokes are funny)

Ingredients:

1⁄4 ounce agave nectar

1 lime wedge

Fresh mint sprigs

1 1⁄2 ounces white tequila

3 1⁄2 ounces club soda

Method:

Add the agave nectar, lime wedge and mint sprigs to a cocktail glass and muddle (mash up) the ingredients to bring out the flavors and pull the mint flavor into the liquid. Add ice and top with the tequila and club soda.

Similar to the traditional mojito — with its refreshing combination of muddled mint, sweetener and lime juice — but with white tequila and pure agave nectar instead of rum and sugar cane syrup, for a more Southwestern flair. The Mexican Mojito is 100 percent natural and perfect to serve on a warm sunny afternoon, garnished with fresh mint. (and because of all the substitutions we only have to swim 16 minutes to have another - yay for refreshing dips)

Nutrition:

Calories: 128

Exercise equivalents in minutes:
Walk: 33
Bike: 18
Run: 14
Swim: 16
Yoga: 44
Dance: 22

Health: Organic Food

2009-06-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

Government test results have shown that the following fruits and vegetables contain very high pesticide levels and should be purchased in their organic incarnations as often as possible:

• Apples
• Bell peppers
• Celery
• Cherries
• Imported grapes
• Nectarines
• Peaches
• Pears
• Potatoes
• Red raspberries
• Spinach
• Strawberries

My question is...why the hell should I have to pay so much more to keep things off of my food? Shouldn't it save the farmers money not to have to use pesticides on my food??? Is the money that the would save incomparable to the amount that they would have to pay to have more people working to keep our food fresh, healthy, harvested, and distributed to consumers that much more that it is cheaper and easier to fill our food with pesticides and hope for the best? Do the government, the farmers organizations, or the companies themselves have an ethical responsibility to provide us with "best practice" products? I can't believe that this is the best product that they can produce and I also think that if people do have to pay upfront extra money to put better "fuel" into their bodies that they should get something back from the government or even more appropriately our healthcare insurance providers for the long term problems that we are avoiding.

As savvy consumers, if we are trying to be as healthy as possible, we need to be aware of the labeling (as apparently there are varying levels of organic products available):

100% Organic: No synthetic ingredients.

Organic: 95% of the ingredients are organic; the other 5% are synthetic.

Made with Organic Ingredients: 70% of the ingredients are organic.

Free-Range: For a farmer to label their product as free-range, they need to provide outdoor access for "an undetermined period each day." That leaves a lot of room for interpretation so purchase with caution (and not just because it is "free-range".)

Trend Watch: Biker Chic for Fall

2009-06-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

The always lovely and chic Daria Werbowy serves as our fall inspiration. I know summer has yet to begin, but pick these pieces up early and its a perfect way to transition a beach outfit into an evening outting look or when the summer nights start to cool off.

Beauty Inspirations - Glowing (clean/fresh/healthy) complexions, stick straight hair parted down the center
Skin: Moisturize and conceal, use a highlighter to accent cheeks and brow bone
Eyes: Line with a fine black pencil, taupe shadow on lids up to the crease, mascara
Lips: Pink-hued balm

Style Inspirations - Minimal, tough, cool, rock-n-roll, clean lines, strong, not fussy
Pieces: Biker jackets, aviator dresses, skinny leggings, leather gloves and accessories, slouchy tees and tanks, faded denim

You can start incorporating bits of this into summer with a boho dress paired with a biker jacket and ankle boots, slouchy tees with sarongs, skinny leggings under a tunic with leather gloves. I like this because it mixes the color and fun of summer with a subtle edge...yet summer into fall will affect a certain nonchelance....a how do the french say it...j'ne sais quoi ;) (trust me though...boho biker is going to be huge for end of August beginning of September)

Inspiration Sundays: Quotes

2009-06-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

"There is beauty in the acceptance of what is..." - Vanda Scaravelli

"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts; this is the secret of success" - Swami Sivannanda

"Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse" - Francis Bacon, Sr.

"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love" - Goethe

"One day your life will flash before your eyes; make sure it is worth watching" - Unknown

"Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination between two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another" - Unknown

Corvette Diner to Re-Open in Pt. Loma

2009-06-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hillcrest's Landmark 50's style Corvette Diner will be opening its doors in July at Liberty Station in Pt. Loma. The move was due to a lack of parking in the Hillcrest business district after the redevelopment of the area in the early 80's (and an expired lease agreement obviously). The new location, which is located inside the former Naval Training Center Officer's Club (2965 Historic Decatur Road) offers more than 1,000 free parking spaces within two blocks of the restaurant.

The new diner is across from the Sail-Ho golf course (awesome...I can drink milkshakes while dad does his thing on the golf course) and is twice the size of the original site (seating will, however be limited to 300 patrons). The same menu will be feature including “p-nut” burgers and milk shakes, home-style meatloaf and the popular macaroni and cheese...and never fear, the traditional flinging of straws and bubble gum and impromptu singing by the “campy” waitresses in bouffant hairdos will also continue.

The Corvette Diner’s grand opening is scheduled for early July and will feature a car show by the Corvette Club, bands and entertainment for kids of all ages. I, for one, am so happy that a San Diego landmark has been recreated because I've had birthday parties there, girlfriend outtings, and its just a throw back to the American Diner. I am psyched that I'll ge to take my son there and that no matter how life moves along that there will be a place for Bazooka Joe bubble gum, thick milkshakes, and burgers!!

Best CL Post!!!

2009-06-12T14:53:00.001-07:00

Drunk as Balls Dojo

Date: 2009-05-11, 12:21AM MST

Are you a casual drunk to full blown alcoholic? Is your mouth often writing checks your fists can't cash? Drunk as Balls Dojo is the answer to all of your problems. At Drunk as Balls Dojo you will learn the fine art of bar fighting from one of the nation's premiere trouble drunks- Ryan O'Reilly. Master O'Reilly has been banned nationally from such established chains as Friday's, Buffalo Wild Wings, and every Border's Book Store containing a Starbucks. He is an expert in the "What are you looking at" and "You got a problem" fighting styles, but is very skilled in a variety of other styles such as "She was talking to me."

Master O'reilly will take you from the pansy-ass lush you are now to becoming a true liability in only 5 weeks. Intensive training covering such varied areas of self-offense as:
-Using wing sauce as a weapon
-Breaking a beer bottle without slicing and dicing your hands
- Accurate projectile vomiting
- Flicking a lit cigarette into someones face
- "Getting the fuck outta there"

Classes will be held every Monday, Weds, and Friday- with Fridays being reserved for critiquing failed technique in the classic and award winning movie Roadhouse. You'll come to class, get wasted drunk, and mix it up with other like-minded individuals. Master Ryan will show you the path to true 'trouble maker.' Only when you reach that point will you be able to tell that douche-bag how ridiculous his shirt/hat/girlfriend is with the confidence that only comes from being trained as a drunk fighter. If you aspire to bar-flydom, this class is a must have!

Classes start at $50 a week + a 12 pack per class.

Libation Alert: Cotton Candy Cocktail

2009-06-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Cotton Candy Cocktail

Ingredients:

2 ounces vanilla vodka

2 ounces light ruby red grapefruit juice

1 ounce 2% milk

Method:

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake for 10 to 15 seconds. Strain into a 5-ounce martini glass.

The ultrapink, ultragirly combination of vanilla and sweet citrus makes this the perfect dessert-style cocktail to share with your fun, fabulous girlfriends. You can also blend this cocktail with ice for a fun ‘fluffy' effect.”

Nutrition:

Calories: 145

Exercise equivalents in minutes:
Walk: 38
Bike: 21
Run: 15
Swim: 18
Yoga: 50
Dance: 25

The Ultimate Unhealthy Restaurant Dishes of 2009

2009-06-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

I was absolutely disgusted to see that restaurants are serving ever-increasing portions of horrifying food to draw customers through the doors. The following dishes have made the Center for Science in the Public Interest's list of the worst restaurant foods in their June issue of Nutrition Action Healthletter:

Chili’s Big Mouth Bites with French fries (four mini bacon cheeseburgers with fried onion strings): 2,350 calories, 38 grams saturated fat, 3,940 milligrams sodium.
Olive Garden Tour of Italy, with lasagna, chicken parmigiana, and fettuccine alfredo: 1,450 calories, 33 grams saturated fat, 3,830 milligrams sodium.
The Cheesecake Factory Fried Macaroni and Cheese: 1,570 calories, 69 grams saturated fat, 1,860 milligrams sodium.
Chili’s Original Half Rack of Baby Back Ribs: An add-on for entrees, with 490 calories, 12 grams saturated fat, and 2,050 milligrams sodium.
Red Lobster Ultimate Fondue shrimp and crabmeat in a lobster cheese sauce served in a sourdough bread bowl: 1,490 calories, 40 grams saturated fat, 3,580 milligrams sodium.
Uno Chicago Grill’s Mega-Sized Deep Dish Sundae: 2,800 calories, 72 grams saturated fat.
The Cheesecake Factory’s Chicken and Biscuits: 2,500 calories.
Applebee’s Quesadilla Burgerwith fries: 1,820 calories, 46 grams saturated fat, 4,410 milligrams sodium.
The Cheesecake Factory Philly Style Flat Iron Steak with fries: 2,320 calories, 47 grams saturated fat, 5,340 milligrams sodium.

OK, was anyone else thrown off by a 2,800 calorie sundae????? Apparently it is a chocolate chip cookie baked in a pan pizza and topped with ice cream, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce...I am shocked because the chocolate cake I made the other day for a 10 slice size had only 1,100-ish calories to it. But this was a huge wake up call...watch what you eat because restaurants can sneak the calories in on you!!!! If you eat out a lot especially if you travel PLAN FOR THIS!!! Personally, I think they should tell you if you are about to put over a day's worth of calories in your mouth as a dessert or an appetizer...and apparently, The Center for Science in the Public Interest agrees with me. They are backing a federal menu labeling bill that would require calorie counts to be listed on the menus and menu boards of chain restaurants. The National Restaurant Association is supporting a measure that would allow nutritional information to be listed in other locations -- such as a brochure or poster -- when a customer orders.

Bottom line - In this case ignorance is NOT bliss!!!!

Megan Fox to play Buffy Summers....Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

2009-06-11T14:37:00.001-07:00

I am utterly distraught at the rumor de jour that Fox is courting Megan Fox to play the title role of Buffy Summers in the big-screen relaunch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Just as upsetting, the new movie will neither involve Joss Whedon nor will it be tied in any way to the 1992 original film or the TV series starring the lovely and very talented Sarah Michelle Gellar...this begs the question: WTF is the point of this movie anyway!!!! I don't want to watch Megan Fox (who I despise anyway - just a poor man's Angelina Jolie) do anything on screen let alone ruin one of my favorite franchises of all time!!!! Fox...get it right...involve the original cast and Joss Whedon and make the cult movie that Buffy fans want to watch!!!! PS, I'd love to watch David Boreanaz on a big screen for 2 hours (MMMMMMM)

Mind/Body: Controlled Breathing

2009-06-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

My hatha yoga class uses this specific type of breathing to de-stress, de-toxify, and re-oxygenate the body. You can think of it as a 4-7-8 breathing cycle. Begin by exhaling completely (I do this in a seated cross legged position but that is just my preference), then breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale completely through your mouth (like you were blowing into a straw) for 8 seconds. Repeat for a minimum of three more times for a total of four breaths...I personally do sixteen "breaths" and find myself feeling calmer and more alert!

Snack Attack: Buffalo Hard Boiled Eggs

2009-06-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

I can't take any credit for this other than turning it from a side dish with dinner into one of my go-to lunches. And it's so easy that I always have an a-ha moment 'why has no one else thought of this!!!'

Place 2 eggs in water, bring to a boil, simmer or 12 minutes. Drain and de-shell then cut into halves. Sprinkle hot sauce and blue cheese dressing over top the egg and enjoy!

Libation Alert: Blackthorn Hard Cider

2009-06-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, last night when I was at the British Beer Company I was initially going to go with a safe wine because I'm just not a beer girl. But I found a lovely compromise beverage that has a delightful non-beery taste with the appropriateness of ordering a beer at a beer place.

A friend suggested Blackthorn Hard Cider which is a hard apple cider using specially cultivated "dry" apples as opposed to American "dessert" apples. I found it to be refreshing, crisp, and easy to drink (uhhh ohhh) and would range from a warm summer night to crisp fall nights after apple picking. I'm more of a warm cocktail drinker in the winter so my curiosity was peaked as to how it would taste heated with cinnamon and cloves stuck in an orange...I'll report back in the future with any experimentation!

Bottom line - good taste, good price, and a great, casual "pubby" alternative to beer.

Trend Watch: Ripped Pencil Jeans

2009-06-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

Leave it to the lovely Victoria Beckham to bring back the ripped pencil leg jeans of the early nineties. Important note, they are NOT skinny jeans...they are not sausage casings around your legs. The fit should be slim but not constricting...clean straight lines. The rips add a little edge to a class look and I like them best when paired with heels. Because there is a hint of freak on the bottom, it is best if the rest of the outfit is conservative (we wouldn't want to end up looking homeless) with either chunky jewelry or a big bag. Here it is done well (side note: I think they can be worn as a jean I just think that it would work for the under fourty crowd and the rest of the outfit must be pristine...a little old school glam rock Dolce & Gabbana vibe)

The New Face of Burberry

2009-06-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this by saying that I am one of those people that think models should model and actors should act. I will point out that there are several obvious exceptions like Milla Jovovich (love her) :

Buttttt, I think in most cases high fashion should be sold by models and worn by actresses on the red carpet. That is why I'm annoyed with Burberry...a label I generally equate with luxury and high fashion to be having Emma Watson (Harry Potter heroine) to represent their brand (in fact it makes me throw up a little in my mouth) for Autumn/Winter 2009/2010. Please view the photos below (the best I can say is that she is channeling Victoria Beckham in the second photo...but seriously, I would have just gone with Posh who to me does represent opulence, success, and class which goes along with Burberry's branding) and then we can appropriately judge:
The campaign was shot by Mario Testino and directed by Burberry's CD, Christopher Bailey who stated that Watson was a "classic beauty, a great character, and a modern edge." No offense Mr. Bailey, but she is average and not particularly edgy. I understand that after the scandal with Kate Moss and la cocaina (personally, who cares, she's a fantastic and super talented model but I suppose it was a publicity nightmare...but it takes nothing away from the beauty of the pictures that she takes) they probably wanted someone safe...but fashion is not safe. And just because you want a brand to connect and have common ground with a certain consumer base that you are trying to cultivate does not mean that you can give attributes like edgy to someone that is clearly not.

Similarly, Burberry's choice to show their Spring/Summer 2010 collection at London Fashion Week instead of Milan fashion week probably has something to do with choosing her, but the UK has a lot of edgy, youthful models that could introduce Burberry to late teens and early twenties and most Burberry customers I'm thinking will not appreciate the commercialization of high fashion and a blatent pandering to the lowest common denominator...POORLY done Burberry!!!!!

Recipe: Chocolate Cake

2009-06-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

I halfed this recipe to make sure it tasted good. It did, and the only thing I would add would be about a tsp. honey for 1/2 the recipe or a 2 tsp for the whole recipe. I also baked it in muffin tins because I didn't have a cake pan. On the plus side each muffin/cake had only 110 calories and 4 carbs and using the cacao powder they are very filling!

Ingredients (Full Recipe...should make 10 muffin/cakes)
4 eggs (seperate the whites and the yolk)
1/2 cup sugar substitute
1 cup almonds (chopped coarsely)
1 tsp vanilla (I used 1 tsp for the half recipe bc I like vanilla...you could add more to the full)
2 tbsp. almond flour
1 tsp. baking soda (I also used 1 tsp for the half recipe...as muffins you need that ish to rise)
3 tbsp. cocao powder
*I would add 1 - 2 tsp honey

Directions:
Pull out the blender, put the whites and the sugar substitute and blend till the powder and whites are one mixture. Add in this order the remaining ingredients blending for a few minutes in between each addition...if you choose to add honey, I'd add it last when the mixture is liquidy. Blend the whole thing for two minutes.

Order:
Almonds, vanilla, almond flour, baking soda, yolks, cocao, honey (optional)

Bake for 20 minutes @ 350

Longchamp Fall 2009

2009-06-09T11:50:00.001-07:00

I am thrilled to see two of my favorite models Daria Werbowy (left) and Kate Moss (right) together in Longchamp's Fall 2009 Campaign and can't wait to see more pictures! What can we take away from this photo? I think we can take away clean lines, rich fabrics, sleek hair, and strong make-up for the fall. Also, call it a niggling inspiration but I'm betting we will see interesting wrist and hand accessories. To me, this look says 'I'm bored with this depressing recession...time for the return of executed opulence'!...I say, Viva la Glam!

Recipe: Coconut Flour Strawberry Shortcake

2009-06-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

From: Rob
Oven Temp: 375 Degrees
Cook: Until fork goes in and out cleanly

Ingredients:
5 eggs
5 tbsp coconut flour
3 - 5 tbsp butter (for desired moisture)
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. honey

Bake in muffin pan. Whip heavy whipping cream and add a bit of sugar. Chop strawberries and put them in tupperware with some agave syrup. Chill whipping cream and strawberries and cover shortcake at room temp.

Paul Oakenfold

2009-06-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

I went this past Friday to see Paul Oakenfold spin @ The Roxy (the poor Roxy really needs a face lift...the decor is right out of a bad seventies porn) and that makes the second time in two weeks that we've been out dancing (we went to salsa night @ Underbar last Fri). The opening dj played a technically fantastic set (and was a cool guy to boot - he didn't mind me flying out him with a jumping hug....bwahaha). I've seen Oakenfold before at Avalon (RIP) and wasn't particularly impressed so I was more excited to be out and dancing with good friends than I was to see him. I was very pleasantly surprised with him and wanted to share some recent track listings. My favorite off the night that he played was Benny Benassi's My Otherside (RHCP remix):

http://www.zippyshare.com/v/19436157/file.html

There it is if you want to grab it. Some tracks he's been regularly playing include:

Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Otherside (Benny Benassi Remix) Oakenfold - Southern Sun (2008 Remix) Nalin & Kane - Open Your Eyes (Remix) Filo & Peri - Shine On Me
Perfecto Allstarz - Perfecto Anthem
Oakenfold - Time Of Your Life (Remix)
Fred Baker - Children (Remix)
Radiohead - Street Spirit (Remix) Marco V & Sander van Doorn - Organic (Original Mix) Delerium - Silence (Remix)
Orkidea - Metaverse (Gareth Emery Remix)
Y-Traxx - Mysteryland (Remix)
Mansun - Wide Open Space (Greg Downey Remix)
DJ Shah - Don't Wake Me Up
Oakenfold - Not Over Yet (Remix)

The highlighted ones I can personally recommend. He also played a great Sex on Fire remix that I loved hearing in the club but is too over-played for me to enjoy in real life.

When Overly Attractive Men are with Barely Average Girls

2007-06-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

Why does this happen? I was walking around Davis Square to the booze store (naturally), when I saw an overly attractive man with a girl...badly dressed, out of shape, shapeless stringy hair, "fresh" faced (in the worst way possible), and sour looking. And this got me to thinking. There are many more attractive women than there are men (I think women just genetically hit the jackpot)...so it is absolutely conceivable that an attractive woman would end up with your "Average Joe." But with so few amazing specimens of the male species (please see above...or below for an example of manly goodness):

Why do men like this always date women like this:

Yes...that is Alanis and NO your eyes do not deceive you. Although rumor has it that they are currently back off...it is just an example of this perplexing trend of extraordinary men dating below average women? Is it because they have a magnificent personality (based off of the frown the girl had, I would say no...how can you really be that dour all the time - I guess having women constantly wanting to bone your significant other could get old), or is it because these men know that they are so attractive that they really don't want or need to compete in the attractiveness category with their S.O.? Or do these women have lower self-esteem so they'll do just about anything you want them to? Or is it the Bill and Monica scenario...were they just convenient for very busy men. Hrmmmmmm.

As a side note, I do not approve of Ryan's recent hook up with the beyond HEINOUS horse-face Scarlett. I have, for his benefit, found him (with Rob's help...I give credit where credit is due) a much more suitable woman...she is quirky and musical like Alanis...but CUTE!:

I know...it's genious. If I could just photoshop a picture of them together and send it to their agents to demonstrate JUST how adorable they would be together!!!

Anyway, back to my point. Maybe it's just blind luck. Like Rob said "If Alanis can land Ryan Reynolds, then ANYTHING is possible!"

My gym has scarred me

2007-06-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

I belong to an all women's gym (It's called Healthworks and I love it)...HOWEVER, I must launch a complaint. The things I have seen at that gym have scarred me for life. It must be a rule that the more out of shape you are the more skin you show, and the less often you keep your towel around your body after showering. Similarly, the grooming habits of armpits and nether regions leaves LOTS to be desired. (Combine this with the fact that if they are fat...you have Grizzly Adams coming at you from a peppermint spa) So I would like to issue this plea to the women at my gym. Ladies, I know we all get lazy...but this is inexcusable. If you ARE on a lazy phase, then don't lie in the sauna splay-legged or haul your ass around the spa or sit there blow-drying your hair stark nakie (and it may sound hot, but don't MAKE me go on google images to find something appropriate!)...Thank you!!!!

Restaurant Review: Top of the Hub

2006-03-03T15:07:00.000-08:00

Sooooo while my dad was here (more on the parental visit later) we had him take us to Top Of the Hub...well Rob and I did. Lucky little Jake got to chill with his cousin Jessica...who blew off a class to chill with him and did a very, very, very good job taking care of him :).

Anyway, we went over to Top of the Hub. It's on the 52nd floor of the Prudential building (above the Skywalk) and is just a beautiful, classy place. The decor was lovely and the view....OMG...to die for!!! You can look out and depending on where you're sitting. You can either see Boston or Cambridge.

Well I started off with the first (of many) bellinis...I ADORE BELLINIS!!!...and New England clam chowder. Except that they do this spicy version that kinda combines American Cuisine with Asian and Californian influences...but in a yummy way that doesn't destroy the original dish. I got the capellini pasta...which is tomatoes, bacon, and baby clams in a buttery/alfredo-ish sauce....YUM YUM!!!! Then for desert I got this molten chocolate cake with mint chocolate ice cream...WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Here's Top of the Hub info for anyone interested in going...WHICH I HIGHLY SUGGEST!!!!

www.topofthehub.net
800 Boylston St., 52nd floor

I was a guest...

2006-03-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

On Shockingly Tasty!!! The best, funniest, podcast in the world. A fresh, fun, fiesty take on urban, adult topics.

http://www.shockinglytasty.blogspot.com/

Or listen on itunes under podcasts...you don't want to miss it because you'll be hear me discuss bidets, over weight vaginas, and why cum can be considered an occupational hazard.

There are equally diverse topics. I didn't think I'd be into podcasts, because talk radio bores me to tears....BUTTTTTT they are the funniest people EVER and talk about everything your mom told you not to ;)

Restaurant Review

2006-03-01T19:38:00.000-08:00

Merri and Yaz chillin' with Jake

Restaurant Review: Shabu Zen (2 Tyler St., Chinatown/Theatre District)

I went with Rob and Jake (of course), our nanny Laura, Merri, Jesse, Matt, and Yaz to Shabu Zen. A quick explanation for those of you that don't know what Shabu Shabu is.....It's basically really thin slices of meat/seafood/vegetables...(you get the idea) that you cook in in front of you on a skewer. You get to make your sauce (or at some you have sauces provided for you) and its just really fun and really yummy. The restaurant was really nice...contemporary Asian decor, and long tables...although I wish they'd had a round table option so that you could see and talk to everyone and not just your neighbors. I must say that I was not a big fan of the sake...BUTTTTT. I was a HUGE fan of the strawberry smoothies (fresh fruit...very, very yummy!!!). My favorite sauces that I suggest you cook the food in are the Kimche (I have NO idea if I spelled that even REMOTELY right...I probably killed it) and the soy sauce with seaweed. I got the really thin, see through noodles (which are really yummy....BUT they're kind of hard to find when you're cooking them.) I definitely suggest getting a side of rice to split per two people. Don't go if you're not STARVING...because it is A LOT OF FOOD! Ooooo and FYI, the steamed gyoza is yummy!!!

Valentines Day...

2006-02-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Dance Me to the End of Love

I found this to be a VERY appropriate picture :)

So I was on my way to work this morning and saw an article in the METRO about Valentines day and how it was different for men and women. They discusses appropriate gifts for men and women...here were some of my favorites...

The Best Quote Pertaining to Women:
"There is so much tragic, trashy lingerie out there."

(I've never really heard of lingerie referred to as tragic...although it absolutely makes sense...so I HAD to put it in there!!!)

The Best Quotes Pertaining to Men:
"Only a very certain kind of man wants to - or can wear - jewelry."
...about what the perfect gift for a guy would be..."Perfectly-arranged buffalo wings with just the right amount of blue cheese!"

OMG...how true are those statements about guys...if we swoon over flower and jewelry (well mostly jewelry) they must cream themselves over wings!

Awesome Editorial in the Metro Yesterday

2006-02-04T11:11:00.000-08:00

Ok...so as you may or may not know...I've been obsessed with this story about the dominatrix killing/not killing her client...here's a sweet editorial in yesterday's metro that pretty much sums up the case:

"I'm not sure which is scarier: a dominatrix who allegedly accidentally kills a consenting adult during rough sex play; cops who are so incomptetent that they don't know how to record her confession during a moment of conscience; a judge wiloling to hear a case without a shred of evidence being offered; or a prosecutor parading around a courtroom with a leather mask reenacting fictitious S&M scenes in an attempt to have an impact on the jury."
- John Markunas, Quincy

...I don't know what he does in real life...but some Boston newspaper should hire the man!

Quagmire emails

2006-02-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

Me and Quagmire

I just got THE best email from my friend Dan:

I used up WAAAAY too many daytime minutes yesterday talking to my boyfr--I mean, Edwin so I might have to call you tonight after 9. On the topic of being a Quagmire, I'm supposed to go salsa dancing with a girl tonight who has yet to call me back from yesterday. If she calls back, I'll still go dancing and just meet more girls at the event! GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY God, I'm turning into my grandfather, and I love it!!! He used to leave the shitty dates during the date and go home with someone else, tha'ts how he met my grandmother.

Dominatrix Acquitted of Manslaughter

2006-01-31T18:12:00.000-08:00

Dominatrix NOT GUILTY

DEDHAM, Mass. --A dominatrix was acquitted of manslaughter Monday in the death of a man who prosecutors say suffered a heart attack while strapped to a replica of a medieval rack.

Barbara Asher, a 56-year-old woman who called herself Mistress Lauren M, was also cleared of dismemberment.

Prosecutors said that 53-year-old Michael Lord suffered a heart attack in 2000 during a bondage session in a "dungeon" in Asher's condominium and that Asher did nothing to help him for five minutes for fear authorities would find out about her business.

Asher had her boyfriend chop up the body of the 275-pound retired telephone company worker, and they dumped it behind a restaurant in Maine, prosecutors said. His remains have never been found.

Prosecutors said Asher confessed to police, but the alleged confession was not taped, and investigators testified they did not save their notes.

Asher's lawyer, Stephanie Page, said there was nothing to prove Lord was even dead -- no body, no blood, no DNA.

During his closing argument to the jury, prosecutor Robert Nelson put on a black leather mask with a zippered mouth opening and re-enacted the bondage session. With both hands, he reached back and clutched the top of a blackboard as if strapped to the rack. Then he hung his head as if dead.

Asher's lawyer objected, and the judge agreed.

"That's enough Mr. Nelson," Judge Charles Grabau said. "Thank you for your demonstration."

*I discovered this story when I was flipping throuh channels finding Law & Order I saw a lawyer in a court room with a black mask and dog collar bound...I was hooked and had to find out WHAT was going on!!!

Juicy Tidbits:
1) She lived in Marina Bay in Quincy
2) He paid $300 per session
3) He was naked, had fishing weights hung from his testicles (he is from New Hampshire), had a leather hood with eye holes over his head, and a dog collar around his neck
4) He was attached to a rack with his wrists held over his head with restraints

Pregnancy, Labor, and Childbirth 101

2006-01-31T13:36:00.000-08:00

Pregnancy, Labor, and Childbirth 101

So...I've decided to do everyone a favor and let you know exatly what doctors and nurses don't tell you about being the entire process!!!

Pregnancy

The food cravings are NOT a lie...seriously, don't mess with that one
You will have an aching back, swollen feet, heart burn/acid-reflux (month 7), insomnia
You're ALWAYS hot
The cervical exam is like getting fisted by a monkey
Guys...sorry, but the horny myth is just that...a myth. Not only will your significant other feel unattractive, her entire body hurts, her boobs squirt milk, and the gymnastics involved in actually having sex make you too tired to even finish it

Labor and Childbirth

It hurts...a lot. At one point I looked up at Rob and said "if you love me at all...please, please kill me now."
Nubane is sooooo sooo important....ask for it early and often
Sleep through as much of it as you can
Hope your Epidural works...mine didn't (in which case, plan better than I did and purchase and bring the black tar heroin with you ahead of time)
The baby is coming out...I thought that everyone was lying to me and that it was a big conspiracy when they said I was making progress...cause it sure as hell didn't feel like it.
Resist the urge to use the last bit of energy to kick your doctor in the face when he/she tells you that you're not pushing hard enough
Do whatever feels comfortable and makes you happy...you know your body best. I kicked all the doctors and nurses out of the room and ignored what they wanted and did what felt best for me
Just when you think its all over and you have the baby pushed out....LOOK FORWARD TO THE PLACENTA....Of course I told my doctor that I didn't care if it was toxic, I wasn't pushing anymore and she could just figure a way to get it out herself
It's still not done after the placenta...now you get stitches!!!
They keep you up in the delivery room until you can get up to the bathroom and pee

The First Few Weeks

Nothing is more depressing than realizing the day after you've given birth that you still look six months pregnant...don't panic...it goes away
You will wear the adult equivalent of an almost diaper for six weeks
You loose blood and fluid for six weeks
Save your percocets for the day your milk comes in...you get a fever...you have to ice your boobs...and everything hurts
Forget a diet...you're so busy taking care of the baby that you're not going to have time to eat...or sleep
Sex...I don't think I need to say anything to girls. But straight guys, pretend you're gay and gay guys pretend you're a bottom...and if you're a bottom you're gonna be pretty good in the imagining part. Imagine birthing a baby out of your butt...would having a penis in that butt any time soon be THAT appealing??

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NEW MOM WHEN THERE ARE AS MANY COFFEE CUPS AS BOTTLES, YOU THNK ITS A REALLY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE DAY IF YOU'VE SHOWERED AND CHANGED SWEATS, AND YOU'VE GONE TO PICK UP A REDBULL AND STUCK A BOTTLE IN YOUR MOUTH....CHEERS!!!